Thursday, November 12, 2009

is this real?

I found this on a site from my writing goodness! Thank you Mom & Dad, for teaching me and supplying for me the curriculum/classes to learn how to write well!

Every year, the Washington Post collects funny analogies submitted by American high school teachers from their students' work. Here are a few - as an example of what NOT to do when you are asked to write an analogy:

  • His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like pants in a dryer without Cling Free.
  • He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.
  • She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli, and he was room temperature Canadian beef.
  • She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.
  • Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
  • He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.
  • The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn’t.
  • From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you’re on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30


Meghan said...

Oh wow! I don't think I've laughed that hard in a long time! Thanks for sharing Caity, those sound like analogies I would have thought of. Not now of course, I know better now, but for instance, I may have written something like that last week. :)

Love you!

Courtney said...

Wow. If you wrote like that, I have to say we would all get a kick out of it and enjoy laughing at it. But I don't think that's your goal in writing... :)

camilla said...

Wow. That's hysterical.

Scribe said...

That's too funny, Caity! :) Thanks for the laugh...